I’m ok….

Wanted to take a few minutes and wax philosphically (sp?) about life in general right now…  To all my friends that have supported me and said prayers for me over the last few weeks concerning my marriage ending…thank you!  It is a blessing to have such caring people in your life.  And I am blessed beyond belief!

So there is a post on Nancy’s blog about “10 things I learned from my friends”, and Cheryl did a great Random Tuesday about marriage.  I thought in my current situation, that I would combine the two…So here I give you 10 Things I have learned about Marriage to my best friend (muahahaha):

1.  It is ok if the “lust” isn’t there everyday.  Marriage isn’t about the lustful love…it’s about what is left after that has worn off.

2.  Your husband can be your best friend to a point.  You MUST have at least one girlfriend to “b*tch” to and complain about your husband to.

3.  Do not expect a man, any man, to be able to feel things the way you do.  It will never happen and you just have to accept it.  They are of a different species.

4.  It is ok to disagree on occassion.

5.  No one, should have to pay for the mistakes of others in your past.  Yes, each person brings their own life experiences to a relationship (also affectionately called “baggage”).  But you can either use your baggage, learn from it to make this relationship better, or you can let it damage your relationship.  The choice is yours.

6.  It is ok to be honest.  It is required in my opinion.

7.  Someone can love you with all their heart, and it still won’t work.  Life is funny that way.

8.  One person in the relationship can NOT always be right.  There has to be an even balance of compromise.

9.  God sometimes means for us to be in a relationship only for a time.  I believe this with all my heart.

10…..Drumroll…..It is ok to say goodbye without it being angry, hurtful, and mean.

It is sad that after 9 years together that Bruce and I are separating.  I won’t deny that.  What is more sad though is that if we stayed together, neither of us would be happy.  I am learning things about how he feels and has been thinking that he wasn’t willing to tell me before.  And it just confirms that I am making the right choice to move on.

I learned from my first marriage that angry gets you nowhere.  I have since apologized for my part in my first marriage falling apart, and my ex and I are actually friends again.  That is a huge accomplishment to both of us growing up and maturing.  It is also a huge blessing for our children, since they love both of us. 

I don’t know what the future holds for me right now.  I do know that I am going to concentrate on my kids, who desperately need some “momma lovin’s”.  This move is going to be hard for them.  And they haven’t had me as much as they would have liked over the years, with 6 kids in the house.  There were many a days that I felt like Stretch Armstrong.  I am sure they felt it too.  But while it will be hard financially for a little bit, we will do fine, and I will give them as much time as they need.

I am so lucky to have the children I do.  They are amazing human beings.

Have a blessed evening!


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